"Oh, this sport. I'd forgotten how stressful it is when you actually give a s***."

"I only got into this to ruin Rupert's life. And he seems to be doing a pretty good job of that himself."

"I need to reapply my lip liner. Men don't know what that means and women understand it requires time and focus."

"Oh, please. The Eiffel Tower is just a lamppost with a publicist."

Rebecca: "I've got to go and see a man about a horse".
Ted: "Oh. I didn't know girls said that when they gotta pee."
Rebecca: "No, Ted, I'm buying a horse."

"Every disadvantage has its advantage"

"Sincerely, Boss Ass B****."